Uncommon Cold: Sex, Love, Romance
The science and practice of deliberate cold exposure (during midlife crisis)
This post is an excerpt from my upcoming book ‘Uncommon Cold: The Science & Practice of Deliberate Cold Exposure.’ It blends the experiences of my midlife crisis with the science of ice baths. For step-by-step protocols to use ice baths to reconnect sexually, romantically, and emotionally with your partner, visit https://www.morozkoforge.com/post/ice-bath-romance-sex-love.
Uncommon Cold
CHAPTER 1
Sex, Love, and Romance
Introduction
After 20 years of marriage, my wife sat me down next to the pool in our backyard. She wasn’t happy and she wanted to move back to New York.
We lived in Arizona.
Every other time during our tumultuous two decades of marriage when she expressed dissatisfaction and threatened to leave, I had asked her what I could do to make it better for her, and I did it. For her, a divorce threat was like opening negotiations on a new marriage contract – like factory workers who might threaten a strike so they could leverage a pay increase.
This time was different for me.
This time, I didn’t ask her what she was unhappy about, or how I could improve. Instead, I thought about the difference between who she thought she’d married and the man she wound up with.
We were both 29 when we pledged our vows. I was lean, athletic, and handsome. I owned my own house and taught full-time at the big community college in her hometown. In other words, I looked good, had a modicum of social status, and was working on pretty good earnings prospects.
She was three months pregnant with my child.
She had every right to expect a bright future for us.
What she wound up with after 20 years was two great kids… and a husband who was morbidly obese, suffering from crippling travel anxiety, deep in debt, and underperforming in his academic career.
I couldn’t help but look at myself and wonder, “What the hell happened?”
Instead of renegotiating the mechanics of our marriage, I vowed to figure out how to become a man worth falling in love with.
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